Round of Applause…

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We all play characters. 

If it’s the protagonist vs. antagonist. The good guy vs. the bad guy. The hero vs. the villain. All plays out the same no matter which word of vocabulary is used. I’m rather amused as to how everyone lands in these roles. No need for an audition, sometimes it’s out of your control.

Explain yourself please…

How many times do we make decisions with the thought process of intending to be the hero, following our hearts, making decisions in order to NOT hurt our loved ones, etc. And how many times when we process our decisions ahead of time for the expense of others’ feelings..the need to keep certain details to yourself…not informing the world of private matters or just half of the whole story,well from a third party’s view that can be interpreted as a bad decision, which leads the audience to believe uh that must be the villain.

Mind fuck. The beauty of theatre.

So we tend to pick sides before the plot thickens. We grow to love characters at the start of every story. We are guessed to believe the bright extrovert character is the protagonist, with such a grand personality how could they be anything else. While, the shy introvert must be the antagonist, for they seem dark and lonely such traits coinciding with one another. 

What happens when it’s the opposite? The power of manipulation. Heavily sedating the audience with words. 

What’s that saying:

"actions speak louder then words."

But words are much more powerful then actions. They build hope, belief, and trust…causing fatal attraction when actions aren’t met. Creating a persona to confuse the audience distracting them from the intended conclusion.

A conclusion no one saw coming. 

Cycles

What is Love?

The love of a mother, the love of a partner, the love of a friend. There are those who don’t believe in love for the fact they were never exposed to what true love is or have endured to many betrayals in a lifetime.

Without hate there can be no love. When finding good in a lifetime you must be able to take the negative consequences that come along for the search of happiness.

People may come and go for selfishness. They might not agree with the role they play in your life, so they will make any decisions they may seem is right at the time to change such role. When someone chooses to step out of your life, at first it is hard. it’s hard to comprehend the betrayal and the hatred you may build up inside of you because you feel vulnerable, perhaps stupid for giving someone the benefit of the doubt and willing to see all good in people. 

At these times you must keep your head up because how many times has this happened to you and you find yourself replacing souls so easily. replacing friends so easily, replacing love so easily. 

As to why I say when you find true love, i mean true love within family friendships and partners don’t ever take it for granted.

Do not ever belittle yourself or let someone take utter control of your emotions and feelings because you only give them the power to control you. In some way they find pleasure knowing they hold such power. If it’s revenge or pure spitefulness they hope to achieve, they will not see such trait as a flaw but rather a selfish acceptance. But that empty void will never be filled completely, only temporarily. They hold much more pain inside of them that they refuse to face. There actions will continue like a cycle. To their next victim I wish you luck and protect your heart like a shield. 

When revealed to such malice, it is also a blessing. A blessing in disguise that you may not see at first. But my dear look deep. Look deep as far as the ocean goes, and the beauty it comes along with.

As hurt and betrayed you may feel from  those you felt that made a statement in your life…those who truly love you will still coexist in your life. That’s the beauty of loyalty and love. In order to find the true meaning you must obtain both. In order to find the true meaning of love you must endure the pain and obstacles to reach to that point.

I know I know we all have all heard this tale time and time again.

But how often do we truly take such advice into consideration. When our heart is pumping so hard that you feel its about to rip out of your chest and it is the only thing you can feel and hear, louder then your own voice in your head. 

It’s harder to see pain and such disappointment in others when you have been in their footsteps. Experiencing the disappointment of others is just something no one can ever get used to. You try again and again to find “a family” playing the game of trial and error until the pieces just fit right. 

Do not blame others for walking out of your life. How many times have you walked out of someone’s life and didn’t think twice of the pain you caused them? It’s just cycle were bound to live.

So cry if you must, hit something if you must, scream at the tops of your lungs if you must. But you will be okay, you will be better then okay because you will only grow stronger.

Stronger, better, and happier because you have learned from your mistakes. 

And only learning will only let you grow into the person you want to become. 

"The key to wisdom is this - constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question and by questioning we arrive at the truth."

Once Upon A Time

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I see the world a little different day by day.

As we reach adulthood, when did we stop believing in fairytales? When did we stop believing in true love, curses, and happy endings?

Did we enter a different realm doomed for a lifetime. Does it get worse as we grow older forgetting about the importance of magic and imagination.

So we look for that small confirmation to prove our own doubts that magic does exist. Waiting for true loves kiss to fix “the curse.”

Perhaps I’m starting to believe in the things I once dreamed of as a child. As I see Evil Queens and Princesses coming out of abyss. Trapped in between 2 worlds called reality and fantasy. I believe in fairy tales, otherwise how else can happy endings exist.

These days that seem so close to the perceived truth. Clenching to my heart that hangs around my neck a reminder that I’m no longer a damsel in distress, reinventing the definition of a kiss.

But a story is incomplete without villains and scoundrels. Two misses trapped in their castles separated by a body of water, until they meet again to collide 2 kingdoms in order to reach freedom.

So I sit by the window staring at the stars and the moon awaiting for my happy ending to play its part.

"Hear the whisper of every thought, get lost in your deepest desires."
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Matrix

Is this real life?

No, it simply can’t be. The lack of complications is haunting me. Like I’m stuck in a dream and I can’t wake up. Yes! A dream not a nightmare. 

Everything is way too perfect. Perfect that it’s scary. Horrified that I might never wake up. Wake me up from this dream.

Wait! What am I saying?! 

No don’t wake me up. Cuz this is my reality. Everything I ever dreamt for is here. How can I sound so absurd and sound ungrateful for what everyone works for. Going down a path I have always hoped for.

Overnight my world is changing, overnight my world is uplifted, overnight I’m growing, overnight I’m maturing, overnight I’m falling.

Overnight overnight overnight overnight overnight overnight overnight… whoa! what an overload. I’m in aw of how much time I have wasted. How I let people waste my time, how I let fear hold me back, how I let so many different obstacles that could’ve easily been resolved play such a factor in my life.

Honestly, wtf what was I waiting for? To see the light? Now I feel unstoppable, like “these bitches ain’t gonna hold ME back.” 

But I know what’s holding me back. The inevitable disappointment I will face to the woman who has given me everything and anything. It’s time to the cut the umbilical chord and let your baby prosper. Learn how to be a woman cuz that’s what you taught me. Have to go down the rabbit role and discover a whole new wonder.  

402

Elements Pt. 2

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She asked me ” Do you appreciate the wind?" I answered NO with a quickness. "You should, as if it’s your last day on this earth.

But I don’t feel the wind. I’m numb to my surroundings. All the elements I’ll ever need are within you.

If I ever need the sun to bring me warmth and light, I’ll bury myself in your arms and look into your eyes.

If I ever need rain to entice my skin and feel the goosebumps rise, I’ll just ask for a wet kiss.

If I ever need the moon to shine to guide me through the dark, you will ignite my flame with just your presence to carry me through. 

While you appreciate every footstep on this Earth, I appreciate every moment I have with you.

It kind of sickens me how I’m able to talk about you. Diarrhea of the mouth I’m about to puke. The vomit circulating up 

From morning to night, your presence is on my mind. I have unwind, now the world knows what’s really on my mind. 

All Hail

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It’s a blessing not many are born with. Easily duplicated but never executed. The least bit of effort to make a statement. If your trying it’s noticeable. You must be blessed with the gift. It can be taught but will never be quite perfect.

At times I find myself committing 100% without even noticing, without even trying, but with all due respect I apologize ahead of time for the side effects. 

I wish there was a cure for it. Oh the faces I get. The stares that I get. And then it starts up again. Then I realize how contagious it is. An air-born illness.

Listen up children, this is how you can catch CONFIDENCE.

A strut in your step, walk up straight, let it seep into your brain, and last but not least commit to the 2 snaps and a hair flip trick.

And there you go, your diagnosed with some confidence.